A text from my ex two years ago
I was reluctant to post this because not only is it embarrassing and very private but it somehow still makes me tear up to this day. I thought I’d share this message because I think it’ll shine light on how we truly have no control over our future because, well we’re human, and we’re always changing.
I had a hard time settling into a relationship after this but for the record, I am in a happy relationship who has yet (and hopefully never) feels the way my ex did
“I realize I have different moods at different times. For a time I’ll feel like I really miss you, other times I wanna be alone, other times I wanna be with friends, .. And other times I don’t feel like being with you. Sometimes I feel like really awkward that you say were like married. I feel really tied down. Which is sometimes a good thing but a bad thing simultaneously. Sometimes super mushy stuff makes me cringe and I just don’t want it anymore. It’s just my personality. I don’t like feeling I’m only ever gonna experience one relationship, I’ve been feeling like I need to date other girls while I have the chance. But then I underestimate the difficulty of findin a quality girl that can out up with the things you have and becoming comfortable and have experience that we have. It’s extremely hard to do that. But I feel like I’ve gotten bored. I just dint like how I feel your life is school, staying home, and then seeing me. I know I say I don’t like being social but I’ve had this desire to be more social and stuff and not necessarily always be you and I. Sometimes I get annoyed of the things you do and say, and it the more and more I get annoyed the more and more I dont wanna be with you. It’s especially hard because I know this summer you’re expecting alot and so was I but i feel like it’s not gonna be what we expect. I still wanna try though. Overall, I’m tired of feeling like I’m freaking married to you. It’s just really uncomfortable. I do trust you, but Im not 100%. I know you’ve learned but it’s still hard for me to believe in the truth with you. I know if we break up, I’m gonna act like I’m okay but as soon as I start missing you it’s gonna be really hard. I don’t really wanna break up, because the comfortability and the understanding between us is hard to replicate with someone else. I have a personality that sometimes makes me show no expression or have no expressions and right now I’m going through that. I don’t really care for mushy stuff and everytime we do this it’s hard cause I don’t wanna do it cause it’s expressing stuff and blahblahblah. When I don’t say stuff and I’m quiet I’m not mad or in a bad mood, I just don feel like talking or anything. It’s just me. I have one last thing to explain. I know you said you felt like you’re in love with me but I just can’t get myself to feel the same way. I thought I did but overtime I knew that wasn’t it”
Thank you though, for being the sacrifice for my victory. You used to always tell me after we’d fight or if I was in some kind of predicament that “This Too Shall Pass” and it has, and when times get tough.. It always will.
i hope you fall in love with someone who makes you question why you ever thought you would be better off alone
this is a really lovely thing to wish upon someone
why can’t periods just last for like an hour, like okay you’ve made your point, I’m not pregnant you can leave now
I may just have came up with every excuse as to why I haven’t gone back to school. Don’t get me wrong, I love education. At the time, I cared too much about advancing in my job and making money that I let school come second. I should have went back this Fall. I was enrolled and everything, but for some reason I couldn’t motivate myself to put that first before work. I knew they wouldn’t work with my schedule either. It’s hard with the circumstances of having to make payments to a shitty car, paying rent, and various other luxuries of a first world adult in this generation.
I’m not disappointed in myself or not the least bit depressed. I’m kind of on the fence about it.
I don’t know what the hell I want to be or spend the rest of my life doing.
Maybe I don’t want to get a degree, maybe I just want to work. But if I do, I don’t want to hear shit about being a waste. I am not a waste. It is what it is, in the end I make my own decisions.
MICHELLE KNIGHT, to Ariel Castro, who kidnapped, imprisoned and raped Knight and two other women for more than a decade, during Castro’s sentencing; he will serve life with no chance of parole plus 1,000 years behind bars.
(via The Washington Post)
PLEASE DON’T BE MEAN TO EMPLOYEES!! PLEASE DON’T DO THAT!! THEY ARE PEOPLE AND ARE PROBABLY TRYING THEIR BEST TO HELP YOU!! I HAVE SEEN MY COWORKERS CRY IN THE BACK ROOM AFTER A PARTICULARLY RUDE CUSTOMER AND IT’S NOT FAIR BECAUSE WE ARE REALLY DOING YOU A SERVICE!! PLEASE DON’T BE RUDE TO EMPLOYEES